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Healthy Sulfites?

I’m addicted to the following things: Music, movies, brightly colored ugly things, red wine, mocha, garlic, and lemon juice. I’m sure there are more things I’m addicted to, but for now this is the list.

And then I discovered that my lemon juice has sulfites in it.

I’ll be the first to admit that perhaps I don’t read ALL the labels I should. For instance, I conveniently ignore the chocolate syrup label. When an item says it’s real lemon juice, I just assume it is. That’s right, I am another fool who blindly gives in to great marketing in the grocery store. Finding out sulfites are in my lemon juice hasn’t been the biggest disappointment. No. The biggest disappointment was when I discovered that I should be using real lemons and drinking the juice soon after squeezing it. Because if I did, apparently I would be supermodel skinny (at least in my mind). While I’ve been drinking my sulfite-laced wanna-be lemon juice I had no idea that the real stuff helps you burn calories. Now, I’m sure my lemon juice does a little as well, but apparently it does not hold the super powers that fresh lemon juice would have provided me.  I am completely convinced I would never have to work out if I just squeezed real lemons and drank it. Sure, it might not be true to some, but in my world (and oh what a great world it is) it is 100% true. The way I see it is, I squeeze the life out of the lemon (hereby killing it) and drink it’s juice like a vampire drinks blood. With a few bits of pulp dripping off my chin the exhilarating excitement in my eyes will warn anyone in a nearby vicinity that I am miraculously burning off the mocha I devoured and anything else fatty that slides into my diet. And just like that, after one squeeze of super powerful lemonywonder, I look like an anorexic sickly chic who desperately needs to eat a sandwich.

A really good sandwich. Perhaps a chicken sandwich on ciabatta with pesto mayo, avocado, and ohh . . . swiss or provolone?

I better stock up on fresh lemons.