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Attack of the Lamp Monsters

With a little creativity, having the flu can actually be a fun time. For instance, when that fever is at its peak and you start questioning the reality of life it is at this time that writers should write. Why not?

This weekend I found myself fortunate to have opened myself up to receiving the flu (thank you airline recirculated air). As the flu settled in for a nice holiday, it just so happened that there was a Stephen King marathon on. Nothing goes better together than a fever and Stephen King movies from the eighties. As I weaved in and out of delirium my cats turned into Cujo and attempted to kill me. My dogs turned into Christine and tried to run over and kill the cats. This isn’t to mention the two Pet Sematary movies I sat through. At one point, freshly drugged with flu-fighting-meds, I was certain one of my dogs was a zombie. Even though I couldn’t remember him dying, or me burying him in Maine, I do remember his sighing out of boredom and constantly poking me with his wet nose as if I was supposed to spring up and do something amazing. And then my mind began to play tricks on me where I couldn’t stop thinking about the time Family Guy did a stint about Stephen King. When I dazed off into another fever-induced nap, the lamps were starting to look a little eerie. My wife claims the lamps weren’t even moving, but I think she’s in on all of this. Carrie, maybe? The Shining? Crickeys – she could be any of his characters reincarnated!

Moral of this blog: sometimes people forget to take advantage of being in a state of fever-induced delirium. It’s times like this when our minds can wander places we typically don’t think of. And, if all else fails, lamps are never just lamps…oooooo

From Family Guy -”Stephen King: Now for my 307th novel, a couple… uh… [casts about desperately] is attacked… by a giant… uh… lamp monster! Oooooooo!”

(“A Picture’s Worth a Thousand Bucks” Family Guy. Fox Network. Season 2, Episode 11. Prod. No: 2ACX07. April 18, 2000.)